Without You
by rubyred777
Summary: Sam swears he is over her poison . Dissclaimer: I really wish I owned SPN, but I dont. If i did, Ruby would still be alive. The title comes from a song from RENT 3
1. Chapter 1

_Sam walked through the motel room door. He threw down the machete and took a swig of the Captain Morgan on the table. There she sat, lounging on a recliner. She looked at him with empathy. She stood up and strutted over to him. She took the bottle out of his hand. "You don't need this."She said._

_"Hey! Give that back!" He slurred._

_"Why don't you make me?" She teased and took a drink herself. Sam stumbled closer to her._

_"How was the hunt?"She asked as she danced away._

_"It was fine. Now come here."_

_"No."_

_"Ruby, please give it back." He whined and gave her a drunken pout. _

_"You sound like a bratty two-year old."She said, yet walked over to him anyway. He took the bottle out of her hand, and finished it off._

_"Thanks." He said. He sat down on the chair and she perched down on the ground in front of him._

_"There's a demon not too far from here. She's one of Lilith's friends."  
"Okay, let's go get her."_

_"Sam, you can't. You're not strong enough."_

_"Then how do I get stronger?" _

_"You know how."  
"Ruby... No... I can't…"_

_"Sam…" She got onto her knees. "It's okay."She reached into her boot and pulled out a dagger. _

_"Ruby… Stop. Now." He said. She brought the dagger up to her wrist. Sam reached and knocked it out of her hand. She grabbed his hand and flipped it over to look at it. "What are you doing?"_

_"You have big hands."_

_"Is that a good thing?"_

_"You tell me" She said and kissed his palm. She pushed his fingers into a fist. She looked into his eyes longingly. "Sam…" She begged and got closer to him. She kissed his cheek.  
"We really shouldn't…once was bad enough." He said and reluctantly pulled away. She crawled onto his lap.  
"Who's gonna stop us?" She asked and kissed his lips. He kissed her back, wanting her just as bad. They started to make out, hands roaming each other's bodies not so innocently. Ruby shrugged of her jacket and tugged on Sam's shirt. He lifted his arms up over his head and she pulled off his shirt. He yanked of her shirt and undid her bra. Sam carried her bridal style to the bed and turned off the light. She pulled him down on top of her and kissed him hard. Sam smiled at the memory and when he realized it immediately turned it into a frown. She was addicting. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't stop himself. Dean was dead. There was no one else he could trust. He pushed Bobby away, ignored his calls and after a month, he stopped calling. Still, every ounce of his hunter self knew he should kill her. Or at least tell her to fuck off. He needed her though. She kept him alive. Kept him from losing himself. Over time his wounds healed. They spent most of their time together. Eventually, he accepted her offer. He drank her blood. She was right, it made him stronger. Dean came back and they were forced to take a break. He missed her even when she was there. It was then that things took a turn for the worse. In the end it had all been a trick. She lied to him, about everything. He still remembers the victorious look in her eyes as she explained how stupid the Winchesters really are. He also can vividly picture the way her small body went limp as Dean stabbed her with the knife. She died. He hated her. Or so he thought. He swore he was clean of her and her poison. But If she showed up at his doorstep, would he push her away?_

He hoped he would never find out.


	2. Chapter 2

Ruby watched him through the trees in the parking lot. She felt like a worthless sk*nk. She never should have let those stupid D**che Bag Angels ruin it for her. Sure, they threatened to kill her and Sam if she didn't do what they asked. Start the apocalypse, they had ordered. When she asked why they wanted her to do it, they rolled their eyes and told her it was a perfect setup, the demon no one but Sam trusts, tricking him into drinking her blood and killing Lilith. Then they made her sign the contract, If she was successful, then they would grant her immortality. But she could NEVER tell the Winchesters, under any circumstances, that she was forced to do it. When Lilith actually died, when Sam's eyes went black, she was both disgusted and amazed. He never figured out. She played him like a guitar! Why did he have to be so gullible? She always knew what was coming next. Her prewritten victory speech killed her on the inside. His rage, his attempt to kill her, it made her want to cry. Not that she would ever shed a tear for the Winchesters. She wouldn't allow herself. When Dean showed up, like she knew he would, sooner or later, she knew that this was the last time she would she Sam, and he hated her. She wouldn't die, the angels had promised her that, but she would have to pretend that she was dead. Stupid Angels. Stupid Dean. Ugg! If only she could tell Sam, that she was sorry, that it wasn't her fault. If only he could find it in his heart to forgive her. Suddenly, something clicked in her head. The angels said she couldn't tell the Winchesters, but she knew someone who would certainly spread the news. She ducked as Sam and Dean walked out of the motel, Their piercing gaze made her think that she had been spotted, but then she heard the sound of the impala starting and driving away. She disappeared, leaving nothing but the slightest trace of sulfur as any proof she had been there.


End file.
